Rudolph Ballentine, Radical Healing, 1999
My last year of self-reflection and reaching out about my progress has brought me to understand that balanced health always comes down to Awareness and the timing of it, Synchronicity. My last year has been one of "Being" and "Action" in this regard. With Homeopathy its' amazed me how much I've managed to accomplish internally and externally.
Part I) On "Being" over the Last Year
"Being in the middle of it"; being at a "Standstill", in "The eye of a storm" or the "Vortex"...defined "...in Cartesian philosophy [as] a rapid rotatory movement of cosmic matter about a center, regarded as accounting for the origin or phenomena of bodies or systems of bodies in space". See the handy dandy online dictionary.com site for Vortex definition(s). Also, see the Kees Dam's Lac maternum piece in Interhomeopathy that has insight on potency* as well as timing for healing (at the end of the case, http://www.interhomeopathy.org/sweet_sweet_mothers_milk).
* - Something that I am contemplating and experimenting with these days is Potencies as "levels of awareness". So, please send me anything you find that links these two things. And for that matter, anything on Repetition of Dose as it relates to "synchronicity" too.
This place of stillness is not passive, but very active with rapid movement and change. In myself, over the last few years I have lived shifts weekly, granted mostly monthly, but at times almost daily. The state appears to be one of contradiction. It is and it is not. As you know, contradiction interests us Homeopaths. It's where we can get a hold of a patient's state. Often when there is discomfort with contradictions our patients come to us for help (even when they are not aware of it). I have concluded with experience, that there is a dis-ease with living with one's contradictions. Something akin to hypocrisy or, more precisely, the feeling of a disconnect in and to one's life. But, contradiction or being able to sit with discomfort can bring us closer to living in harmony in the end. For instance, there can be a co-existence of opposites: with darkness comes light, etc. With balance and, thus, health we can have polarities reside with each other in peace. In my case, I believe now with the help of Homeopathy that I live with healthy contradictions, not the ones that indicate I am hiding something - and, in fact when I was unhealthy I didn't even know that I was full of contradictions of the kind that couldn't really be integrated.
I feel the new Systems of Homeopathy that exist are what I am all about these days. They can seem contradictory as well, but they are in a good way. Systemizing something but having within the system a freedom to be creative is having things that appear to be polar opposites peacefully co-exist. This is what, I believe, appeals to so many of us with the systemic perspective now of our Materia Medica because it contextualizes the parts to make a whole...Starting with myself, I am a being who is a system: complex and, at last, coming to a simplicity, in that I am not a mass of confusion or parts that are disconnected. Rather my parts are now running together towards an end that makes sense of all the independent pieces. This is an example of the "reconnection" in the opening quotation.
Recently I read the words of the plenary speakers for a conference on "Aging and Spirituality" to
|A mystical song from Marketa Irglova's Muna, 2014|
Part of the reason I am at last getting into my stride as a Homeopath is that I am integrating my own experiences/traumas - all the parts of my life...living an existence that has all my memories - experiences of them even at the cellular level - coming together to make a whole. Ahhhh, a whole manifested being! This is a big deal 'cause all the reading and attempts made in the past are now finally paying off. Thanks to the transformative power of Homeopathic remedies. Being both a patient and also having my own patients has afforded me the opportunity to witness healing that moves us to a reconnection with the cosmos, the "larger wholes", again from the opening quotation/book Radical Healing.
It is very much a time of transition for me. This is the stuff about me being in flux, but yet at a standstill (in the Vortex). I have had several years of practice with my patients, observing them. Moving from watching their hand gestures to their responses when sharing their stories during the Intake interview to seeing their miraculous cures.
I can fully appreciate what a blessing it is that we can learn and grow ourselves as healers from their journeys towards being whole. As a patient myself I have had the benefit of the healing work of some great Homeopaths that have helped me make the shift that has then enabled me to be better at being there for my patients, and, of course, being a better individual for myself, my family and friends. I wonder which came first, the chicken or the egg? Did I already have an ability for being a Homeopath or did my patients impart this ability on me? My feeling is it's about standing still...long enough, in my case, as I am almost ADHD or at least very impatient at times;-)
Detachment (with compassion as in Buddhist teachings on Attachment) has allowed for a true connection with others. I am not talking here about taking on the issues of our patients, but, rather, hearing with self-awareness what is going on - again the state of the person, what they are about, their stories, their life's themes, their issues or the problem of their case (to be precise and according to Scholten). To paraphrase a Canadian author in an interview I just heard the other day: Empathy is not about pity or even compassion but about getting into the shoes of others, their lives. Good Homeopathy is like Art, a good novel or a beautiful painting with perfectly executed brushstrokes...and in so many ways...including being poor and starving, ha ha.
One aspect of my own case has been coming to terms with my Shadow, one that in the past put me into a state of shame (or guilt on a good day). But with Homeopathy, an acceptance of my Shadow is making it possible to move forward. Although I am not exactly aiming to embrace it, I want to come to a place of acknowledging it and integrating my past "shameful" or at least "regrettable" actions/patterns in order to move thru them to a new place (one that has me detached enough from them so as to be able to recognize in the moment when I am basically behaving in certain ways in order that I can shift gears and act differently). To change habits/patterns is hard, but with energetic shifts that Homeopathic remedies offer we have hope to do this...to be transformed and be closer to being Whole.
In just a sec I will touch on the concrete things I am doing with patients, using specific Families of remedies that I find extremely beneficial for this work, especially in times of change or transition. As many of you know, we see many of our patients at these times of what I see as a discomfort with their old ways. Even if they do not know it, this is when they often turn to Homeopathy. And do I not know it myself. I just had my case taken by an outstanding Homeopath because I too am at a time like this again; on all fronts of my life (or facets of my case). I am shifting and moving but in a still enough place - Hello Vortex or "Eye of the Storm" - so, this time not exactly stuck like I was several years ago. I think, therefore, a snapshot of my state is likely very clear...I certainly love it when I get a patient that comes to me in this state. I hope that my dis-ease is clear, but do hope it gets cleared up sooner than later too...Any day now I will take my remedy - just awaiting its arrival by post and then will hopefully get a nudge in the right direction.
Always a sign for me that a patient has moved from the primary reaction of a remedy - that sets the impetus into action but is doing most of the work - to the secondary reaction with their Vital Force or their own "innate healing action" doing its thing. This is about the inner core of the person...what energizes their actions because the self-awareness has kicked in:-) So, which came first? me witnessing this or me taking the lead to spot out the patient's state based on my own self-awareness? As you know, whenever we ask the chicken or egg question we can never know the answer. It would be about being sure of not only the causative agent(s) but also assuming we know what is the desired outcome. And this is not at all possible to know (even once it is supposedly a "closed case") nor desired...except when we forget to be humbled by the results we see in our practices...remembering to be amazed at the possibilities that unfold before our eyes.
Part II) On "Action" this Recent Year of My Life
When we see the secondary reaction we know it cause the patient is not the source or substance speaking any longer but comes from a place of "Doing" or "Action" (and not "Being the Source"). At the start of any curative action with a good remedy, we see an uncanny - almost comical - reaction of the patient that can only be described as a possession. There's a hold on them that is somewhat like a Proving. But because there are beneficial aspects like being energized, eating or sleeping better, having some meaningful dreams (huge!)...as well as their old symptoms coming to the fore (as in Hering's Law), we know it is not a Proving.
I personally need to see this clean reaction to know that the remedy is more than just good, but correct - as in the best possible fit I can get or match them to. For me, I believe it is at this place that self-awareness is finally truly possible and that's what is gonna to make it possible for healing to happen for them (myself included). This possibility allows for what we know to be the secondary reaction to kick in. I have come at last to this place: awareness is key and without it I realize I would not have any hope of moving out of a place of feeling ill at ease. I used to be on a path or journey stopping to smell the flowers along the way, but this was not much different from early on (when I had no inkling of myself as a person in need of help) when I was actually just distracting myself with, well, distractions (diversions or diverging off the path) - engaging often in self-destructive and harmful acts to avoid the core issues of my life. I have now shifted with Homeopathy to being a pilgrim.
Unfortunately, I think I have to still sink a little more on this pilgrimage of mine. Shit. But, shit happens, and, therefore, I will hopefully be able to rise out of this shit and come out the other end with dignity: with some wisdom. Cross your fingers for me for the next several months. It is going to get ugly...again, but deeper and better in the end I hope. I am hoping that with early remedies and with "work on my issues" and all that stuff that it'll not be as low as in the early part of my pilgrimage. For me, turning to Buddhism has been helpful and not necessarily a crutch but a pillar of support that I feel has been loving and kind and brings with the meditation (and a sprinkling of yoga) that I've tried to do has rubbed off on me. And with this round, I will be more conscious about it as a practice in my life. So, again cross your fingers for me, cause I feel precariously perched and could easily fall off the wagon without an impetus such as Homeopathy.
|More than Once makes this worth a listen...it's mystical |
and magical music.
Here's my list of what I did in terms of "Action":
1) Lots of great cases/patient work with an expansion of how I prescribe. Part of this focus on my practice came 'cause I made a decision to let go of being the book sales representative in North America for Narayana Publisher's - this was hard to do...but, now I see that I had to or I wouldn't come to where I am ready to go the extra mile - i.e.- full time practice...which enabled me to get good cases of Plants, new remedies (and old ones or ones that are very related/close to Polycrests on the Periodic Table (i.e. - Ozone) or close Botanically...as in new Plant remedies).
|2014's 20th Anniversary Issue: The Past, Present |
and the Future of Homeopathy
3) Lacs reviews of books/cases for publication (another Simillimum piece- already published and also The American Homeopath again, this one pending - need that remedy to kick my butt into gear to wrap it up, especially an accompanying case of Lac delphinum).
4) Prescribing for Miasms and Chakras with new remedies -- New Nosodes (Klein), Colours (Ambika Wauters) and Gemstones (Peter Tumminello) -- with work on a curriculum for teaching other Homeopaths...
5) And for patients something I am doing: a Memoir Writing group - that will also be for myself to document my personal life journey (a Homeopathic Autobiography of sorts)...oops, pilgrimage. The latter is going to be made into my Thesis for Louis Klein's Master Clinician Course, as that is what is left to do to be a full graduate of it. What came first, the chicken or the egg here? for sure, it was the chicken in that it grew (albeit from the egg) organically (and free run, lol) so as to then become a proposal for being a Thesis. I will for sure share what I learn from running a group for patients that have had success with Homeopathy with me and who memoir write with me to give meaning to their lives - what the group is going to do over the next several months. I hope all the patients I invited are going to sign up in the next few weeks....many of whom are the ones that I have prescribed, intermittently, remedies for their evolution since doing well for a least a couple of years on their Constitutional remedies. These "intermittent" rxs are the Colour, Sound and Gemstones that I have been working with of late. Love 'em and will share with you all in future on this experience.
6) I will mention that I have on the back burner but always running though my mind (again, need the impetus of my remedy!) the idea or the makings of a Book Club for us Homeopaths. To keep us all up to date with the prolific authors/Homeopaths we have in our midst and that without we can not practice in a way that advances us and our work for the benefit of patients. So, slowly but surely it will happen...if you contact me on this or any of my cases or articles I will send you what interests you. Next I will either have condensed versions here in my Blog of cases or a write up on the Vancouver Klein seminar I attend in less than a month...or on credentials and staking my claim in Homeopathy as a practitioner (see below)...or on the above, #4) or #5). Um, so many ideas, so little time.
So, at last I start to finish up. To show you how slow change is for me and many of the people I see I will say, that also in the last year, I have moved from a place of being an outsider to wanting to be an insider: at last, acknowledging that credentials are a good thing and that it doesn't mean that if I join an association or society of Homeopaths or get licensed and such that I am a sell out. I have always been a renegade to a degree in all that I have done (even Social Work, how? who knows?). On one level it helped me to get a perspective that was unique in order to have insights not possible if I was too much on the inside. But now, I am again awaiting the magic of Homeopathy to do its thing so I can start again!! on my applications. This all is another story and another posting. Patience is a virtue and with the awareness of my own (slow) evolution I am able to at last see that I must be patient with my patients as well. At the start I was always like "Hurry up and heal" but now see it is time and time only that we need to give ourselves and others for healing...being pilgrims that are going at a pace that works for them, so as not to get blisters or end up hobbling or even crawling on the path. So, having said that, give me a few months to reach out again and blog a piece on something for you all.
BTW, my remedy has arrived just today - yikes!@#!! Wish me luck! Until next time, I wish you all the best in whatever capacity you are moving forward in your endeavors, or "Actions". If we all keep in mind, that "Being" is valid and that without it there is no movement/change, or "Action". As you know, it is just the other side of the same coin. Be well in all the ways that you all are able. Peace.
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and righting, there is a field. I will meet you there." Rumi